1st Hormonal Outburst

So I haven't had my period since after the initial bleeding after pregnancy (by the way this may be TMI for some of you but I need to put this down so feel free not to read) until last week. My period came back due to Gemma not nursing as much and then it hit again at the start of this week so I only had about 3 days of non period days.

Monday I started feeling really off. I wasn't myself and I could tell. I was nauseous and moving slow but thought it was because I was sore from exercising. I was very tired as well but Gemma hasn't been sleeping very good. Then I went to the bathroom and saw the culprit. :) Then yesterday I was super depressed. I have never felt like that before. I didn't want to do anything. I felt sick, headache, and just crying every 2 minutes. I texted my sister and asked her advice. She told me to make sure I was taking care of myself and reaching out to my family when I needed them. I told Jason via text I was off. I then called my mom and cried to her for awhile. My mom has always been there for me and helping me through all my rough patches. She told me to come over whenever I needed support or felt like I had enough with Gemma since Jason was working late yesterday. Gemma then woke up from her nap and I went in to her bedroom crying. I picked her up and told her: "Gemma, I can't function right now or even think. Please help me out." She gave me a huge hug and just let me hold her for awhile. I fell apart. She patted my back and the rest of the day was the perfect little girl which hasn't been happening lately. She played and laughed on her own. She kept checking in on me. Then Jason called me on his way home and let me talk and cry again.

I ended up being fine. I was lucky cause my visiting teachers came that day too. They told me to turn to them if I needed them because I was honest for the first time in my life and told them I wasn't doing okay that day. So this post is to let you know when you need someone be honest. I have always told people I am doing good. Yesterday was the first time I reached out. It was the first time in my life that I have felt what true depression is. Know that you aren't alone. Reach out! Let others help you and turn to people when you need help. They may not understand but that's okay. Get it off your chest so you aren't caring the burden with you. Please note this post doesn't have good punctuation because it is written quickly and because I wanted to get all my thoughts down quickly before I changed my mind on sharing. :)