Since I am pregnant I feel it appropriate to speak on thoughts about pregnancy. Before I was pregnant I would hear pregnant women complain and be sad about their pregnancy belly and stretch marks. I would tell Jason that I wouldn't ever get depressed or frustrated about my belly or stretch marks once I was pregnant. Now that I am pregnant I realize what a mental game that women play with themselves while they are pregnant.
The start of my pregnancy was pretty easy. I wasn't sick and I was loving knowing that a little person was inside me. Then my belly started growing and I noticed the first few stretch marks. The first thought I had was I am getting "fat". When I realized what I started thinking I had to stop myself and say no I am not "fat" this is normal and natural. I am growing a human being for goodness sake! I would talk to Jason about it and he once told me that as my husband I was more beautiful then ever. I started to cry and promised myself from that time forward I was going to love my growing belly and whatever my pregnancy was going to throw my way.
Well that's when I was challenged. I looked in the mirror and saw how many stretch marks were forming, my belly growing, my hands were numb, my feet were swollen (shoes didn't fit), placenta lift, and high blood pressure. To top it all off my placenta is in the front which makes it so I couldn't fill our little Gemma move until I was in the third trimester. In all of these hardships I kept rubbing my belly and telling Gemma how much I loved her. I wanted her to keep growing and most importantly I told her I didn't mind what was happening to my body. I told her this so she knew how much we wanted her. That I wasn't worried about my body changing because it meant she was growing and coming closer to being in our home.
This wasn't easy but it was worth it! I have stayed pretty positive throughout my whole pregnancy and am almost done! It's crazy how time flies when you are positive. I have wondered why we as women are so hard on ourselves about our bodies performing how they should perform. God created us for such an amazing work and there are women who don't have the opportunity to feel life inside of them. So for those of you who are able to be pregnant lets be more appreciative of what our bodies are doing and be grateful for the opportunity we are given to carry life.
In conclusion my favorite comment (now that I am almost done) is aren't you so glad she is almost out. I can honestly say no. I am going to miss feeling her every day and being so connected with her. We are one and I am going to miss feeling that. So for now I am going to appreciate every day I have to feel life inside of me and feel her. She is our little Gem.
